Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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