i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
