she kept yelling 'call me bella'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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