Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
