you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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