she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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