Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
