I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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