i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My bed smells like the plague
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
