It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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