Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
