You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
