Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
