Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
