Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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