i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
North Korea, Best Korea!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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