Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
