You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
