i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
