when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
