this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
