So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I fill condoms, not promises.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
