I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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