Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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