Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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