On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i out mim tonsoeep
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