I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
