Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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