Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
