I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
