woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
