I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
