What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
