ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
