I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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