Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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