She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
