Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
