Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
