It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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