ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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