Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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