I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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