you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
