"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
