I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
