His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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