I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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