I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
