his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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