Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
