apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
