Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
