Im at strip club and am horny
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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