I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
