She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
