woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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