Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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