the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
