May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
